The word I eschew and have never written about food is ‘delicious’. I’d never considered ‘tender’ being a reprehensible quality but you’re right: all popular, cheap and easily procured food is pappy.
I banned the word 'delicious' years ago but that's because I worked for... delicious. My pet hate is the phrase 'meltingly tender'. As for pappy food, I can think of some easily procured items that aren't pappy: crisps, nachos, popcorn, crisp chicken wings, peanuts, burnt burgers on most barbecues in the summer, sticks of rock etc. Most of those chew down to pap with a few grindings of the mandibles, tho.
Interesting — I was thinking more of meals and MacDonalds, KFC, Burger King, and even fish and chips or sandwiches. But you’re right, an awful lot of snacks are sweet/salty and crisp. (Not crispy: I seem to remember it’s Simon H who hates that word?)
The words crispy and creamy both give me the shivers, probably because I've had it drilled into me that they are like catnip on social media. Instant rebellion.
Interesting. I always assumed that Hoppy objected to crispy as an adjective, because crisp was entirely sufficient (I feel the same way about the Estate Agent's 'within'). Can't stretch the same logic to creamy though. Cream can only be a noun surely. And I can't think of any other word to describe a cream-like texture. Lipidy? Emulsiony?... I don't want to cavil with Hopkinsonion Doctrine. But Jesus it's complicated!
I think it's all the fault of French haute cuisine and those bloody purées. It's brainwashing people into thinking 'tenderness' is a virtue when it's really just slop rendered down to the texture of baby food.
It's been years since I watched Masterchef but it used to drive me mad how they'd disqualify people if their mashed potato had lumps. But isn't it better to have some texture than slop for babies?
The best hummus I've ever had was in Istanbul and it was fork mashed! Was it tender? No, far from. But wow, it was good and I dream of it to this day.
I want food for grown ups. I'm not a baby and I have a full set of teeth. Give me flavourful slow cooked mutton over meltingly soft and tender but bland lamb.
(I had a whole essay prepared on the arc of British cooking away from "Dry and Chewy" but once I realised the inevitable destination became "Moist and Tender" I had to go and have a bit of a word with myself.)
I’m not sure I can function without moist. I know it freaks people of for some weird reason (I blame the ludicrous Miranda). Point is that ‘moisture’ is something we have to discuss in cooking - particularly in bakery. Moist is just a word we have to have.
The word I eschew and have never written about food is ‘delicious’. I’d never considered ‘tender’ being a reprehensible quality but you’re right: all popular, cheap and easily procured food is pappy.
I banned the word 'delicious' years ago but that's because I worked for... delicious. My pet hate is the phrase 'meltingly tender'. As for pappy food, I can think of some easily procured items that aren't pappy: crisps, nachos, popcorn, crisp chicken wings, peanuts, burnt burgers on most barbecues in the summer, sticks of rock etc. Most of those chew down to pap with a few grindings of the mandibles, tho.
Interesting — I was thinking more of meals and MacDonalds, KFC, Burger King, and even fish and chips or sandwiches. But you’re right, an awful lot of snacks are sweet/salty and crisp. (Not crispy: I seem to remember it’s Simon H who hates that word?)
The words crispy and creamy both give me the shivers, probably because I've had it drilled into me that they are like catnip on social media. Instant rebellion.
I saw someone write 'Brothy' on social media recently. I wish them a slow and agonising death.
A cross between frothy and breathy, neither of which sit comfortably with food IMHO.
Interesting. I always assumed that Hoppy objected to crispy as an adjective, because crisp was entirely sufficient (I feel the same way about the Estate Agent's 'within'). Can't stretch the same logic to creamy though. Cream can only be a noun surely. And I can't think of any other word to describe a cream-like texture. Lipidy? Emulsiony?... I don't want to cavil with Hopkinsonion Doctrine. But Jesus it's complicated!
Cream is also a verb
I think it's all the fault of French haute cuisine and those bloody purées. It's brainwashing people into thinking 'tenderness' is a virtue when it's really just slop rendered down to the texture of baby food.
It's been years since I watched Masterchef but it used to drive me mad how they'd disqualify people if their mashed potato had lumps. But isn't it better to have some texture than slop for babies?
The best hummus I've ever had was in Istanbul and it was fork mashed! Was it tender? No, far from. But wow, it was good and I dream of it to this day.
I want food for grown ups. I'm not a baby and I have a full set of teeth. Give me flavourful slow cooked mutton over meltingly soft and tender but bland lamb.
On the other hand, 'crispy'...
I rather like it as a word, there's a gentleness to it. But broadly agree with this thesis. The only thing that should melt in the mouth is ice cream.
the (now declining) use of 'mouth feel' is enough to make any other food related adjective acceptable.
Tim, most people are just too lazy to chew. Maybe you should draw up a scale of tenderness levels.
Moistly tender.
Tenderly moist.
(I had a whole essay prepared on the arc of British cooking away from "Dry and Chewy" but once I realised the inevitable destination became "Moist and Tender" I had to go and have a bit of a word with myself.)
I’m not sure I can function without moist. I know it freaks people of for some weird reason (I blame the ludicrous Miranda). Point is that ‘moisture’ is something we have to discuss in cooking - particularly in bakery. Moist is just a word we have to have.